when they don’t want to live with their parents anymore
If a child doesn’t want to move with a parent and is upset about the decision the parent is making.
If you’re an “outsider” meaning you’re not a parent or legal guardian this is what you should do.
Mind your own Fucking Business. It’s really that simple. Oh you ask what if the child comes to you. Then surely you must do something. Yes, you’re right there is something you should do. Make sure the child is safe and then contact the parent and return the child promptly. Remember this is none of your business. Oh but what if the parent is doing something that you don’t like, then surely you must be able to intervein and do something. NO. Always revert back to IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Oh but you want to help the child, that’s wonderful. Oh and you think you know what’s best for the child. You may think you do but you don’t. This is not your decision, in order to have this decision you must have a child of your own. Even if that child came to you for help, you never ever want to be responsible for breaking up a family. Just like you wouldn’t want someone to come into your marriage and seduce your spouse, then leave a child alone. They are not grown enough to understand that you may not have their best interest at heart. They may not yet understand what you’re really doing and how you’ve manipulated them.
Anything new, bright and shiny will be appealing. But it’s not fair or right for a child to grow up with guilt over learning that they traded that now dull toy that use to be brand new for a loving parent. That guilt is not theirs to carry, it’s yours for poking your nose into something that you had No Business being in. Remember it’s None of your Business.
I know what you’re thinking what if the child really wants to stay with you and what if the child has been like a family member in the past? The answer is still no. There’s nothing worth ever ruining and destroying a parents bond with their child. The child will not understand what damage you have caused and instead will believe it’s their own fault if they ever come to that understanding. Most likely they will internalize it and have difficulty in the future with relationships; even the one with themselves.
So again, just to recap, what do you do if a child comes to you or you notice a child having a hard time? NOTHING! IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Or if you must do something, contact the parent and return the child safely.
I wish I knew this wisdom sooner perhaps I could’ve shared it earlier and maybe just maybe I would still have a family.
A parent makes promises to their child even before they are born and they will do everything they can to keep those promises until someone interferes. Both parents make a promise. It does not matter if the parents are married and are happy. If they are, then there is a collective promise made and it involves safety, comfort, shelter etc.
From that moment on, it’s like a parent puts marbles in a jar and trying to make good on their promises.
This is why when the child reaches adolescence and begin to break out and forge their own path things can seem like they are falling apart. Reason being, the child moved the jar of marbles and now it’s broken. The parent is frantic because they feel they still need the marbles and there’s glass everywhere. They don’t want the child to get hurt and they need to remember those promises, they still need to make good on them.
In addition to this, when a child finds a love interest there may be friction as well. This is because the parent still wants to keep those promises. Letting go of those promises will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do as parent. More than likely, it’ll be something you’ll carry forever. But what happens when someone else knocks over the jar of marbles? What if the glass breaks? Then what happens?
I would have to say that everyone gets hurts, marbles get lost and some will slip on a marble and get hurt. There’s glass everywhere and because you didn’t see it coming, surely people will be deeply cut. Those will take a very long time to heal, if they ever do. The scars will always be there.
Let it also be known that there are never any innocent bystanders here. No one escapes without getting hurt. The other thing that I have yet to mention is that using the excuse “Oh I don’t want to get involved”. If you know about it then you’re already involved and this is the exception when you do have to do something. You must contact the parent at once. No better feeling than restoring a family.
Just to add here, if the child is in physical harm then Yes, you can do something. Contact the authorities. Which by the way is not you. You must report what you have witnessed. Otherwise repeat after me. IT’S NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS.
Denise Hamel 