Unconditional Love for Myself

We are more alike than we are disconnected.

I wrote this originally in 2017.. 

Last night I ended up giving in and speaking my mind to Eric. My husband, a title I really don’t like. I don’t like any labels at all. I belief we are to encourage one another and love one another completely unconditionally.

However we need to be what we want to attract.

The human source is joy. We need to attract this to ourselves. This decreases the ego and the desire to seek out like minded people. We are one.

I rejoice in the human family. (today’s mantra for meditation)

I write in the sunshine of today. The house is quiet, missing the little snoring noises from Sami today. I feel her here however. The love we shared is always with me.

I need to be what I am seeking. That is it, pure and simple. I am seeking complete unwavering love, passion, fun. Why can’t I have this within myself? Can this even be possible? Do I need someone else to dictate these emotions back to me? Very valid questions, for sure. When speaking my mind last night to Eric, I really tried to keep it about me. I’m more upset with myself that I have allowed this behaviour to be around me. That I seemed to accept it. When really I don’t and should have spoken up sooner. So there’s two sides to this for me.

One is be that which you desire. Absolutely! I need to be all of those things to myself first and foremost.

Secondly, I need to speak up to myself. If I were to be doing the first thing to myself the second would just fall into place, because I would have no room in my life for absent emotions. I wouldn’t be feeling like I need to create excuses for the other person’s behaviour towards myself. Heck NO! I would just be moving on without any effort really on my behalf. It’s happening simply because I’ve allowed it to happen. It’s not that I  need to take extra time to think about any particular situation, no way. It’s just I need to love myself unconditionally. I need to be passionate with myself. Period.

I am an amazing person, I believe we are all God in action. Why would I want to settle for anything less than?

I place faith  in my true self. (another mantra for a meditation) it goes quite well with the writing I am doing today.

I just pulled three cards from a deck and the first one was Books, work with books, write and read.

Second card was Justice, I am being called to help those, it says people look up to me and seek help. I am a role model for justice. I need to be where I am needed. This one hit me pretty square,  because I’ve been told by two different people in the last week that I would be really good with human resources. I would have to agree with it but I thought I have been pulled to decorate. Anything, ,anything I want to feel purposeful. So today I ask to be used where I am needed. Not where I think I am wanted, but where I am needed. I have been asking the wrong question. Please use me where I am needed the most. I have been blessed with many talents throughout my life thus far and they are growing each and everyday. I never once thought of this before, why not be useful where the world needs you. You will be called to it, without your help. And this is exactly what has happened.  So justice it is. I feel very strongly about people being treated fairly. And with an open mind as well. So, use me for the greater need of the people. Thank you.

The third card was Flowers, to either be among them or give them. I do love flowers and I have prepared to give some away, I am now keeping fresh ones in my home. So this card is bang on as well.

Then I pulled a miracle card, I shuffled many, many times not looking. And the card that drew me to it was the card for Pray for them. If I am in conflict with anyone, pray for them, pray for their happiness and the conflict with disappear. So I am praying and praying today. What a full morning already. I feel so blessed.

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