I Love my Ego

I have come to the conclusion today that the ego is not only a good thing but what will save us from ourselves. It’s only want is to be loved and your ego is a part of you, when you don’t love your ego then you are not filling up yourself. It all comes down to loving yourself. Your ego just happens to be the loudest voice we hear..do you really think that’s a mistake? Since when do we judge what we’ve been given as far as our human design?
We are all perfect exactly how we are in this exact moment, there’s no waiting, there’s no getting, there’s no being, it’s just loving what is now.
Can you listen to your ego? Can you really hear what it has to say? It’s only mission is to help you feel good about yourself and to avoid those things that didn’t make you feel good.
I love my ego.  It’s the only one who’s really keep track of everything. Think about it… is any other part of you? It has been trying to get your attention to love yourself. There are many times when you can’t ignore it. Once you love it then you are truly loving yourself. I think I may be on my way.. today I really do.. I feel a great gratitude towards it. truly. And I am even trying right now to hear it but I hear nothing. There’s no but wait..there’s no don’t do that.. or go get this.. etc etc. It’s just love.
There’s this great pull right now in society with meditation. Everyone is told they should.. but why? It turns into a practice of trying to ignore your ego and your thoughts.. which in return is really just a battle and it doesn’t make you feel any better. But when you get it… no that’s not right. Meditation is actually a calling to your ego.. it’s an opportunity to actually listen to it. There’s no other distractions in the way..you are to just sit there and pay attention.
Think about it, a small child who is wanting your attention will do so at any cost and then once you pay them attention and actually listen, they feel loved, they feel heard and will calm down and become quiet. The ego is a major part of who we are and it’s for our own well being to actually show it love. Meditation is just one way of doing it.
It really just wants you to be happy and it is the only one who knows how to do that and feel fulfilled because true happiness is feeling fulfilled and you then create this overflow. But the only way to do that is to love yourself exactly as you are. Your ego wants this for you.
As I’ve said before the ego was created in those exact moments so perfectly when your needs were no longer met as they were when you first came into this world. Hence why it may seem childlike..it’s still a part of who you are. It’s always with you, it’s always been with you.
Now tell me why would you ever want to continue to ignore something so beautiful and loving?
I have spent my life up to now listening and collecting information and ideas from everyone else around me in order to find happiness when it was always within me and all I had to do was stop and love.
Took a mini space out break and I heard I’m ready.. thought about that for a minute and I began to laugh out loud. Me saying that really means, I want to be ready. But I will never be ready because when I am ready then it will just happen. When it happens is when your doing it, therefore there is no ready… only wanting to be. Again it’s something outside of yourself. as soon as you get outside of yourself the further away you get from the truth and further away you get from fulfillment, the further away you get from happiness.
(I fucking feel amazing! )
There’s no how to steps to this either. Although I did go searching for it. For me and that’s all I got to go with.. for me it was being honest with myself and listening to myself. I have always been a writer and putting it down on paper makes it real for me. I write out whatever comes.. and the latest beginning of all of this was making a list of things I like from the most honest space I have inside of me. It was challenging because I knew other people wouldn’t approve of it and even my husband fought me on it for a bit. His ego came up like a roaring child wanting something..attention. He was screaming things like no that’s no true. I am able to do those other things, that list isn’t me. It was defending and in any defense it’s a call for war… even towards yourself.
We want to feel good and the ego knows this perfectly. His ego wanted him to really look at it and to feel it..it wanted him to feel something…that’s why it began to defend. Eventually however they both calmed down because there was evidence where what he was defending wasn’t true. I was able to show this in a nonthreatening way and only then was he able to see another side and begin to understand. It’s so desperate for you to feel love, it’ll go to any lengths for that to happen.
We must lean into what feels good to us, life is truthfully meant to be easy. The ego really tries to help us with this one.
And for any of us who knows the phrase that ego means edging god out, what if your ego is god? Think about it.. it’s always with you. it knows everything. it wants you live an easy life, it wants and tries it’s best to keep you safe. it’s always speaking to you. It’s only silent demand if any is to be loved which simply means loving yourself because we are one.  *****
There are days like this that I am over flowing in gratitude..thankful I never studied.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s