Losing yourself while trying to fit in

Are you trying to fit into a group and losing yourself in the process?

We are so desperate to fit in and for other to like us, we want to know that we matter and are loved unconditionally. However too many times we try to fit into a group and become what we think they need from us instead of just being ourselves.

Because we must go through many no’s to get to a few authentic yes’s. There must and will be many people who do not like you. These people are some of the most valued in our lives. These people who tell us no are there to test our own sense of values. They are there to teach us more about ourselves.. Who we are willing to become, whom we are willing to let go of. How strong we are and how strong we can become. Hearing a no from someone may seem cruel and we aren’t accustomed to hearing it but it is the very part of who we are and who we are not.

Throughout life we are guided through our belief systems and our thoughts telling us where to go and who to trust and who not.

How many times have you done something you knew you shouldn’t of but did it anyways and wished later you had listened to your gut?  I know I have; many times in fact. And it always ends up taking me even longer to get to where I truly wanted to be in the first place.

Not only that but life can tough and it can also be joyous who do you really want to share it with? Who do you want there to help you out in a time of need?

All too often we hide ourselves because we don’t believe others will love us or like us for who we really are. Then we pretend to be something we think they want us to be in order to be liked. Can you recall a time where this had happened? How did that turn out? In many of my situations it never ended well, usually a fight and someone was caught and hurt in the middle of it. It’s never a good thing that’s for sure.

We only fear the no’s in life because we’re unsure of who we are. We very rarely take the time to get to know ourselves, this desire usually comes much later in life if we live long enough. Slowing down and listening to yourself, being with ourselves is the only way we can ever get to know ourselves. And in that process as we grow up and the years pile up our experiences beat us up, we allow others to pass their pain around like a hot potatoe.

Life is meant to be a journey of self discovery and within that is some really good points but with those points is the climb to really great high spots and this is where you can look down and back on all those so call problems and realize how small they really were.

Here’s to all of those who keep going! So can you.


photo cred Shutterstock thank you. 

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